“What makes you different or weird, that’s your strenth.”
-Meryl Streep

I saw this quote this morning and it hit me hard. Ever since Friday when I wrote my last blog post I have been beating myself up. That entire evening I kept thinking, “you should delete that, that was stupid”, “those thoughts aren’t valuable to anyone”, “who do you think you are, you don’t have anything worth sharing.”

And yet there was no voice in my head telling those words to shut up. They just kept going, right into Saturday. Only they quickly moved on from the blog into something more harsh, that rejected me and the person I am. Thoughts like, “your a bad mother, you’re not doing enough for them,” “why and the world do you think you can be a photographer, go back to teaching,” “Ugh, you are too fat, lose some weight.” And they went on and on and on. Feels, good, right?

And it’s baffling that those really unkind words about me were coming from ME! If anyone ever spoke to one of my children, family or friends like that my Mama Bear mode would turn on and shut those people up. And yet I don’t see myself worthy enough to shut those voices off for myself.

I wish I could say those thoughts are gone, they’re not. But with a good nights sleep, a cup of coffee and with that quote from Meryl Streep, I am (slowly) realizing I can at least tell those voices to shut up. They still creep in. But I know I have an inner strength that has gotten me to the place I am. My weirdness is actually a good thing. It’s the way God made me, He intended for this quirky girl to be here walking the earth, mothering the children He gave me and taking steps on the unexpected path He’s put me on.

So if you are like me and have those ugly words creeping in far too often I can’t tell you how to stop them, but I can tell you, you can reject them. Because all those things that you are picking on, are really what gives you strength. Embrace them, love them, share them, they will help you move forward when everything else around you feels dark. They are what give you the beautiful, beautiful soul that you have.

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.”
-Brene Brown